The Chain of Stalkers
by Arigatou Sheitarou
Summary: Signum wants Shamal, who wants to dress Vita up in her deviations, who wants to make sure Hayate doesn't get hurt, who wants to confess to Yuuno, who wants Nanoha to notice him, who is stalking Fate, who is on a date with a boy. Just a chain of stalkers.


_**A/N: **Ahrm...this is...something completely contradicting as to how I'm feeling right now...but I decided I should stop procrastinating and post it...before you start to think I died...It...I finished...Well...My mother died the 12th...I had just finished writing this when I got the call...hahaha...irony...But...anyway...it's not really funny...it's just...stupid, really. I wasn't really planning on posting it...but...since it's the only thing I have that's finished entirely..._

_Also, I'm sick. ...Heh heh...really, really, 'I can't read, I can't write, I'm so bored with a 103.4 degree fever' kind of sick...This is really not my month...Well, didn't mean to bore you with my autobiography...Sorry. Hope it's not as crappy as I think it is...Oh, and the 'Fingere' epilogue is nearly done..._

**The Chain of Stalkers**

It all began one sunny morning. The birds were singing, the grass was fresh, Fate was reading, Nanoha was watching, Yuuno was watching her while she was watching Fate read a book, Hayate was watching Yuuno who was watching Nanoha watch Fate who was reading a book, Vita was watching Hayate watch Yuuno who was watching Nanoha watch Fate who was reading a book, Shamal was watching Vita who was watching Hayate watch Yuuno who was watching Nanoha watch Fate who was reading a book, Signum was watching Shamal who was watching Vita watch Hayate who watched Yuuno watch Nanoha who was watching Fate who was reading a book.

It was the perfect state of normalcy. Fate was even starting to get used to having those eyes focused on her twenty-four seven. Heck, she was even beginning to get used to the chain of stalkers, each hiding behind different objects, plainly visible and oblivious to everything except the apple of their eyes. Literally. No, really. One would think it'd be natural to notice that someone was hiding behind you. After all, they were really hiding in plain sight.

Anyway, it was the perfect state of normalcy. Until a boy walked inside, rupturing that delicate balance, finding that one chink in the chain.

"Testarossa-san…would you go out with me?"

Fate looked up from her book, which caused Nanoha to seethe in jealousy, which caused Yuuno to get upset at the fact that Nanoha wasn't paying attention to him, which caused Hayate to lose her courage, which caused Vita to step out of her hiding place to give her a pep talk, which caused Shamal to have a sudden image of Vita in shining armor, which caused Signum's heart to give a little summersault. Thus, the chain of stalkers was upset.

Fate smiled and said yes.

Which is what led to their being inside a restaurant like the little chain of stalkers they were. Signum watched Shamal from the table behind her, who observed Vita with binoculars from the table behind her, who observed Hayate while munching into her popcorn in the table behind her, who studied Yuuno while biting into her handkerchief, who was fixing his tie while staring at Nanoha in the table in front of him, who was busy sharpening her knives while watching Fate subtly flirt with the boy who only wanted to get in the blonde's pants. Just another day in the chain of stalkers' lives.

"So, Testarossa-san…did it hurt?"

Fate blinked, which caused Nanoha to glare at the boy, which caused Yuuno gape in confusion as to why Nanoha wasn't paying any attention to him, which caused Hayate to sigh at Yuuno's dreaminess, which caused Vita to jump in happiness and spill her popcorn, which caused Shamal to drop every sketch of Vita onto the floor, which caused Signum to jump into action.

"Did what hurt?" Fate asked, oblivious to the chaos behind her.

"When you fell from heaven. Because if you're not an angel, then I don't know what you are."

"That's one of the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me."

Nanoha stabbed the table while muttering curses and proceeded to read Shakespeare, which caused Yuuno to take out a dictionary to understand those curses, which caused Hayate to take pictures of him with her cell phone, which caused Vita to choke on her popcorn, which caused Shamal to jump in to save her, which caused Signum to call for the waiter. And then Nanoha realized two things. That what the boy had just said had absolutely nothing to do with Shakespeare, and that it was a pick up line.

"You say those lines when you're trying to pick her up, you idiot!" Nanoha hissed, her left eye twitching in annoyance, "And that's pathetic! I could do better than that!"

This hiss caused Fate to turn to look at Nanoha, which caused Nanoha to hide behind her menu, which caused Yuuno to hide behind his, and so on and so forth.

"Did you hear something?" The blonde asked, for the moment having forgotten her chain of stalkers.

"No, I didn't, my sweet."

The blonde smiled and sipped her drink, oblivious to the fact that Nanoha had just tossed the menu at the waiter, which caused the waiter to stumble into Signum who was trying to help Shamal help Vita, which caused Shamal to shove Vita against Hayate, whose drink landed on Yuuno and successfully ruined his ensemble. Not that they were trying to.

"You're the sweet one."

"I'm sweeter!" Nanoha hissed, ready to charge at the poor, unsuspecting boy.

"I'll take the bill." The boy said, "You go on ahead and then we'll walk to the park together. Okay?"

"Alright."

Fate smiled and kissed his cheek, which caused Nanoha to go on a rampage, which caused poor Yuuno to get shoved towards Hayate, who fell across Shamal, who fell across Vita, who called out to Signum for help, who was still trying to help the waiter clean up his mess. Needless to say, the chain of stalkers got a hefty fine for destruction of property.

So now, at the park, the boy and Fate walked hand in hand, and Nanoha and the rest of the chain of stalkers rolled from bush to bush. And so the evening was spent, relatively quiet, that is, except for that one moment in which the silence was broken by someone who was not in the chain, on the chain, or remotely related to the chain.

"Mommy, why are those people following the ugly boy and the girl who is obviously too pretty for him?"

The boy twitched and glared at the kid while his mother answered,

"Now, now, that wasn't a very nice thing to say. Now be careful, or the ugly boy might hear you."

"Yes, mommy, but why are those people following them?"

"Don't question the author, baby. Remember what happened last time."

"Yes mommy."

The chain of stalkers continued to stalk in relative silence. The boy and Fate stopped at a lake.

"Testarossa-san, you are like a rose, the loveliest flower."

Nanoha finally had enough of his cheesy lines. She jumped out of the bush, which caused Yuuno to gasp and follow her, which caused Hayate to jump after him, which caused Vita to stop, drop, and roll, which caused Shamal to climb a tree to better sketch her movements, which in turn caused Signum to catch a very nice view of Shamal.

"You can't call Fate a rose, for roses have thorns! You heathen!" Nanoha yelled, outraged and making sure she was heard. "Besides, a rose cannot compare to the beauty of those eyes of burgundy, which make my head spin from their intensity!"

Fate blinked, blushed, and fidgeted, which caused the boy to realize that he was losing his new scoring possibility to another girl. He laughed.

"Then what would you compare her to, Takamachi-san?"

Nanoha cleared her throat and took Fate's hands and stared into her eyes, which caused Yuuno to have a fit in slow motion, which caused Hayate to squeal at his boyish beauty, which caused Vita to feel horrified at Yuuno, which caused Shamal to yell at Vita "Pout for me! Show me that anger, that horror! Roar out your displeasure like the lion you are!", which caused Signum to stare at her as though she had grown a second head.

Nanoha stared at Fate for a moment, and her eyes softened before she looked back at the boy.

"I would not compare Fate to anything, because she is far too precious, far too beautiful and unique. Fate is Fate, and I would not change her for the world. She is something that cannot be compared, because it would ultimately not do her justice."

Yuuno stood stock still at this confession, his face an expression of angst, which caused Hayate to take out her camera and begin taking pictures of his angst, which caused Vita to take out her device, which caused Shamal to take out her nurse outfit, which caused Signum to trip over a passing puppy.

"Nanoha…"

The brown haired girl blushed and looked away as those pretty eyes looked at her, gentle and sweet as they had always been, making her feel all warm inside. Like cotton candy. Except less sticky. And sickening.

"Fate…"

"Nanoha…"

"Fate…"

"Nanoha…"

"Fate…"

The chain of stalkers and the boy rolled their eyes as the exchange continued. Yuuno turned to Hayate, and caught her red handed, which in turn caused Hayate to turn red, which caused Vita to get angry because she thought Hayate was embarrassed, which caused Yuuno to get hurt by said short girl with device, which caused Shamal to make use of that nurse's outfit, and Signum kept the puppy.

And thus, the chain of stalkers lost a stalker and everything returned to a state of relative normalcy.

THE END


End file.
